“What if its all gone? The feelings, the eye-sex, the i-dont-mind-you-being-you attitude, the staying up all nights, the long late night conversations, the never ending texts. Everything. What if I don’t want those with him anymore? What if I’ve completely lost the love for him?
Things have gone perfectly but, I just don’t feel the love being there anymore. I feel as if it was still going on because we’re used to having each other and not because of the love between us. I’ve never been so sure of something so bad. I never thought we’d ever end but, here we are, hanging on by a thread. Maybe you don’t see it yet but I have. I realize that you and I both can survive without each other. You and I both can make it far without having each other by our side. You and I both are just not meant for each other.
I get it now. I get why we would fight over the silliest things. I get why we are never on the same page everytime we discuss on our opinions. I get why you never laugh at my jokes, why you never play along when I’m being cheeky. I get why I don’t see you as a sexgod anymore and why you never even try to make me feel happy anymore. I get it now, because we’re not soulmates. We’re not made to complete the other half. We’re not destined to unite forever.
But of course, I loved you. I loved spending time with you. I loved every moment we were together, for better or worse. I loved seeing your sincere smile shining underneath the hot, blazing sun. I loved the way when you sit down, with one hand on my thighs, gripping them because you wanted to touch me so bad. I loved our long conversations, the ones we talked about our plans together, our favorite things, and our great memories. I loved the way you talk to me, so soft and gentle, so bad words and all. I loved that you were there for me when I needed you. And I never stopped hoping you felt the same way back at me.
I can’t love you now because I know you wont love me the way I loved you. And maybe, I can’t love you the way you want me to. But, I’ll always be there, somewhere deep in your mind and heart. I’ll remain as a memory in your life just as you’ll be in mine. I hope for nothing but the best for you and your future. I wish you a great life ahead without me being by your side. “